I was supposed to reflect upon people that I can not repay, and three women immediately stood in front of me, my ex-mother-in-law, my ex-sister-in-law, and my daughter. All three women have supported me as long as I have known them, which is about 50 years. All three have helped me in many ways, big and small, but three particular images come to mind as brightly today as they were on the days they formed themselves in front of me - a frosted glass with a perfect salt ring, a fluttering white sheet, and a large green trash bag.
In 1967, the day my ex-husband left me, I called Mother (she has been Mother to me always); she told me to come over and bring the kids with me. When I arrived she pulled two crystal glasses from the freezer and dipped them into the finest margarita salt there is. The blender went into action and by the time I awoke the next morning the sun was shining and my fate seemed less devastating.
It was 1977, a couple of years before my second marriage disintegrated. I was confined to bed rest for thirty days after a difficult gall bladder operation. My husband was at work, the kids in school, and I was tethered to a bag that was supposed to, eventually, reveal a dislodged gall stone. Suddenly a whirlwind rushed into my bedroom and ordered me to "get up, wash up, put on a fresh nightgown." Clean sheets and pillow cases flew from the linen closet, and by the time I came back to the room, the bed was made, a vase with flowers stood on top of the TV, and, as finale, my ex-sister-in-law placed a tray on the bed and announced that "the soup will be hot enough in a minute."
The third image, the one with the green garbage bag, was created in 1987, the day after the big earthquake. As utility employee I was forced to work that day, but when I came home I was confronted with the task of sorting through broken dishes, a book case that had spilled its content across the front entrance to my house, total chaos in my sewing room, a tub full of small items that had fallen from the cupboard above, and a collection of broken geese of various shapes and sizes. It was too much to tackle at the time and I wanted to run away. Just then my daughter came through the back door. She told me to find a place to sit down and have a cup of coffee. She pulled out a green lawn bag from under the sink and began to sweep. A lot of treasures departed very quickly, without me having to make a decision to toss or glue. By the time my daughter left it was dark. The TV sat back on the shelf, the books stood in their places, and, best of all, the floors and tub were cleared of glass and miscellaneous debris.
How did they know what would relieve the stress I was under? Why did Mother douse me in margaritas? What propelled my ex-my sister-in-law to change my state of vegetation with such quick action? How did my daughter know that eliminating choices would make it easier for me to overcome the aftermath of the earthquake? I think all three have a sense of timing. They did exactly the right thing when it was needed.
They didn't ask what I wanted them to do, or told me "I'll help you with this" or even knew, at the time, how much their actions would mean to me.
Mother, Pat, and Patricia, I will never be able to pay you back for all the small and big favors you have bestowed upon me over the years, but I thank the universe for sprinkling all three of you into my life.
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