Candles are perfect for the holiday season. Whether sitting solo on the kitchen table, or in the company of their sisters clipped to an Advent wreath, or lined up with others on a menorah, or spread in multitude across the outer limbs of a fir tree, a candle brings warmth and light, and enhances the art or spiritual reflection.
Of course the days of my childhood trees are long gone, and with them the small, red candles my stepfather would light on Christmas Eve. Grown older and wiser have the innocent eyes in two little faces who made the season so precious during my mothering days. Even my grandchildren have matured into adults, no longer sitting beside me, waiting for a candle to be lit. The candle and I are alone in our relationship now. Face to face. Flame to flame.
I look at the candle my daughter Patricia bought for me in Solvang. Made in Germany. I test-light it and take a picture to post on Facebook. A few days ago I promised not to write a single negative sentence during the holiday season. I want to strengthen my resolution. The candle that shows the numbers one to twenty-four, like an Advent calendar, encourages daily lighting, daily reflection. Daily shivers of recognition.
Yes. Recognition.
Recognition of simple truths. We, as a whole, we the people, we have to be more compassionate. I have to be more compassionate. And I need to be more reflective.
One group who seems to be very much in tune with this demand on our humanity - the practice of giving of the self - are nuns. The Sisters of Notre Dame de Namur for instance.
I got my first understanding of this when my daughter posted the picture of a pink, tie-dyed t-shirt online. Two of her students had given it to her, because she had not been able to participate in a Brest Cancer Awareness activity, in which she had wanted to color a shirt for me, the survivor. We both responded to this act of kindness with great joy.
When I wanted to thank the students for their compassion I didn’t know how, at first. But soon it came to me. Pay it forward. Maybe pay it backward at the same time?
First I wore the shirt, took a selfie, posted it on Patricia's page. Then I knitted until twelve teddy bears were ready. I asked my daughter to give me the names of twelve nuns who instill such good will in young people. Some of the Sisters she knows from teaching at the University in Belmont. Some she met in Nicaragua. Some became friends while she spent Christmas in Kenya last winter.
There are twelve bears with the names of twelve Sisters. These bears will travel to Minneapolis from where they will begin their journey to Africa to become the companions of twelve children affected by HIV/Aids.
I took a picture of the bears as a group, carrying candles – though these candles are lit by batteries; it makes for easier photographing. Then I printed twelve copies for holiday greetings, to be sent to the twelve Sisters. On the inside of each card a bear stands alone, labeled as gift in a short explanation, and identified by name: Margaret, Bernie, Roseanne, Nena, Joan, Carolyn, Judi, Catherine, Beatrice, Elizabeth, Sandy, Rebecca.
Finally I printed one eight by ten for my daughter to take to her students, to show them how their good deed has been rewarded, indirectly, just as the Sisters’ good deeds, indirectly, caused me to express myself through teddy bears for Africa.
Tomorrow will be the first of December. I will light my candle until the number “1” has been consumed by the flame. I will reflect on the generosity of spirit in the Sisters of Notre Dame de Namur. I will reflect on young people who show the grace of compassion. And I will reflect on the smiles of children whose lives will be brightened by a small sign of love from afar. After that, I suppose, I will begin to knit another teddy bear.
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